If It Wasn't For Pick-pockets I'd Have

What A Dog I Got, His Favorite Bone Is In My Arm.

When I Was Born The Doctor Took One Look At My Face, Turned Me Over And Said, "look, Twins!"

My Dog Learned How To Beg By Watching Me Through The Bedroom Door.

I Joined Gamblers Anon., They Gave Me 2 To 1 I Wouldn't Make It! I Joined Aa, There Was A Two Drink Minimum!

I'm Getting So Old My Insurance Company Sends Me 1/2 A Calendar!