I Looked Up My Family Tree And

Last Week I Told My Wife, If You Would Learn To Cook, I Could Fire The Chef. She Said, If You Could Learn To Make Love, I Could Fire The Chauffer.

Oh, When I Was A Kid In Show Business I Was Poor. I Used To Go To Orgies To Eat The Grapes.

They Change The Sheets Every Day... From One Bed To Another.

I Come From A Stupid Family. My Father Worked In A Bank. They Caught Him Stealing Pens.

I Walked In On My Wife And The Milkman, The First Thing She Says Is "don't Tell The Butcher"!