Last Week I Told My Wife, If

My Wife Met Me At The Door The Other Night In A Sexy Negligee. Unfortunately, She Was Just Coming Home.

When My Wife Drives, There's Always Trouble. The Other Day She Took The Car. She Came Home. She Told Me, There's Water In The Carburetor. I Asked Her, Where's The Car? She Said, In A Lake.

My Cousin Is Gay, I Always Tell Him That In Our Family Tree, He's In The Fruit Section.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. When I Went On The Roller Coaster, My Old Man Told Me To Stand Up Straight.

I Told My Doctor, "i've Swallowed A Bottle Of Sleeping Pills" And He Told Me To Have A Few Drinks And Get Some Rest.