When I Was Born I Brought No

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. He Told Me Never Take Candy From A Stranger Unless He Offered Me A Ride.

I Tell Ya, With My Wife, I Got No Sex Life. Her Favorite Position Is Facing Bloomingdale's.

I Shouldn't Tell Jokes About My Wife. She's Attached To A Machine That Keeps Her Alive... The Refrigerator.

With My Doctor, I Don't Get No Respect. I Told Him I Want A Vasectomy. He Said With A Face Like Mine, I Don't Need One.

One Year They Asked Me To Be Poster Boy - For Birth Control.