I Tell Ya, With My Wife, I

With My Dog I Don't Get No Respect. He Keeps Barking At The Front Door. He Don't Want To Go Out. He Wants Me To Leave.

I Met The Surgeon General - He Offered Me A Cigarette.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. The Time I Was Kidnapped, And The Kidnappers Sent My Parents A Note They Said, "we Want Five Thousand Dollars Or You'll See Your Kid Again."

My Wife Has Cut Our Lovemaking Down To Once A Month, But I Know Two Guys She's Cut Out Entirely.

When I Was A Kid My Parents Moved A Lot, But I Always Found Them.