Sleep! The Most Beautiful Experience In Life.

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

Comedy Is A Serious Business. A Serious Business With Only One Purpose--to Make People Laugh.

A Man Who Overindulges Lives In A Dream. He Becomes Conceited. He Thinks The Whole World Revolves Around Him; And It Usually Does.

It's Morally Wrong To Allow A Sucker To Keep His Money.

It Is Funnier To Bend Things Than To Break Them.