Remember There Is No Way You Can

Get Married With The Feeling It Is Going To Last. Not Like The Bride I Know Who Doubled The Wedding Cake Recipe And Froze One.

Do I Believe In Witchcraft? I'm The Result Of It.

Old Age Is When The Liver Spots Show Through Your Gloves.

[on Plastic Surgery:] When I Die, God Won't Know Me. There Are No Two Parts Of My Body The Same Age.

I Have Nothing Against Dogs. I Just Hate Rugs That Go Squish-squish.