On Halloween, The Parents Sent Their Kids

I Was So Ugly My Mother Used To Feed Me With A Sling Shot.

What A Childhood I Had. My Parents Sent Me To A Child Psychiatrist. The Kid Didn't Help Me At All.

I Went To See My Doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...i Told Him Once, "doctor, Every Morning When I Get Up And Look In The Mirror I Feel Like Throwing Up. What's Wrong With Me?" He Said, "i Don't Know, But Your Eyesight Is Perfect."

My Father Carries Around The Picture Of The Kid Who Came With His Wallet.

You Can Name Your Own Salary In This Business. I Call Mine Fred.