My Psychiatrist Told Me I Was Crazy

I Walked In On My Wife And The Milkman, The First Thing She Says Is "don't Tell The Butcher"!

I Told My Wife 'hey Honey Come On, Let's Make Love Like The Old Days.' She Asked Me For 50 Bucks.

My Cousin Is Gay, In School While Other Kids Were Dissecting Frog, He Was Opening Flies.

When I Got Back Into Show Business In 1961, I Felt - For Obvious Reasons - That Nothing In My Life Went Right, And I Realized That Millions Of People Felt The Same Way. So When I First Came Back My Catch Phrase Was "nothing Goes Right." Early On, That Was My Setup For A Lot Of Jokes.

I Took My Son To Coney Island, I Said "wanna Go In The Crazy House?", He Said "save Your Money We'll Be Home Soon"!