My Only Thrill Is Self Inflicted Hickies.

When I Told My Wife She Was Lousy In Bed - She Went Out - She Got A Second Opinion.

When I Was A Kid My Parents Moved A Lot, But I Always Found Them.

I Drink Too Much. The Last Time I Gave A Urine Sample It Had An Olive In It.

I Went To A Massage Parlor, It Was Self Service.

I Tell Ya, My Wife Was Never Nice. On Our First Date, I Asked Her If I Could Give Her A Goodnight Kiss On The Cheek - She Bent Over!