My Father Gave Me A Bat For

I Was An Ugly Child. I Got Lost On The Beach. I Asked A Cop If He Could Find My Parents. He Said, 'i Don't Know. There's Lots Of Places For Them To Hide'.

When I Was Forty, I Was Getting Divorced, Living In A Low-class, Dirty Hotel In New York. My Mother Was Dying Of Cancer. I Owed $20,000. That Was About The Lowest. I Came Back To Show Business, And I Couldn't Get A Job. I Was Turned Down By Every Small-time Agent In New York.

I Don't Know Kid, There Are So Many Places They Could Hide.

I Went To Look For A Used Car And Found My Wife's Dress In The Back Seat.

I'm A Downer. I've Been Depressed My Whole Life. Figure It Out.