I Don't Drink Water. Have You Seen

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's House Unless They Have A Well-stocked Bar.

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.

I Drink With Impunity...or Anyone Else Who Invites Me.

I Was Married Once--in San Francisco. I Haven't Seen Her For Many Years. The Great Earthquake And Fire In 1906 Destroyed The Marriage Certificate. There's No Legal Proof. Which Proves That Earthquakes Aren't All Bad.

My Daughter Wants To Throw A Stone At A Bad Man. I Stop Her From Throwing, Shaking My Head And Giving Her A Little Slap. My Disapproval Is Complete. You Think: 'that's Right, She Shouldn't Throw A Stone Even At A Villain.' Then I Hand Her A Brick To Throw.