List of Rita Rudner Quotes

Men In High Levels Of Government Seldom Surf.

Only Men Who Have Worn A Ski Suit Understand How Complicated It Is For A Woman To Go To The Bathroom When She's Wearing A Jumpsuit.

Men Will Now Get Up And Walk With The Baby In The Middle Of The Night, Change Its Diapers, And Give It A Bottle, But In Their Heart Of Hearts They Still Think They Shouldn't Have To.

I Knew So Little About Money I Used To Sign My Check, "love, Rita."

I Adore Being Hitched. It's So Extraordinary To Discover One Unique Individual You Need To Irritate For Whatever Remains Of Your Life.

Men Are Brave Enough To Go To War, But They Are Not Brave Enough To Get A Bikini Wax.

Men Are Sensitive In Strange Ways. If A Man Has Built A Fire And The Last Log Does Not Burn, He Will Take It Personally.

Men Who Are Going Bald Often Wear Baseball Caps.

Never Play Peek-a-boo With A Child On A Long Plane Trip. There's No End To The Game. Finally I Grabbed Him By The Bib And Said, "look, It's Always Gonna Be Me!"

My Vegas Act Is How I Make My Money.

Men Are Less Sentimental Than Women. No Man Has Ever Seen The Movie The Way We Were Twice, Voluntarily.

No Man Is Charming All Of The Time. Even Cary Grant Is On Record Saying He Wished He Could Be Cary Grant.