Dress Simply. If You Wear A Dinner

Everything That Goes Up Must Come Down. But There Comes A Time When Not Everything That's Down Can Come Up.

You Know You're Getting Old When You Stoop To Tie Your Shoelaces And Wonder What Else You Could Do While You're Down There.

People Are Always Asking Me How Much I'm Worth. Well, All I Can Say Is, I've Got Enough Money To Last Me The Rest Of My Life. As Long As I Die In The Next 20 Minutes.

I Smoke Cigars Because At My Age If I Don't Have Something To Hang On To I Might Fall Down.

At My Age Flowers Scare Me.