I Smoke Cigars Because At My Age

I Never Go Jogging, It Makes Me Spill My Martini.

I Drink Coffee With My Right Hand, And I Smoke With My Left. But I Talk With Both Hands.

If You Live To Be One Hundred, You've Got It Made. Very Few People Die Past That Age.

Sex After 90 Is Like Trying To Shoot Pool With A Rope. Even Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.

I Must Be Getting Absent-minded. Whenever I Complain That Things Aren't What They Used To Be, I Always Forget To Include Myself.