List Of Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

If You Want To Save A Species, Simply Decide To Eat It. Then It Will Be Managed - Like Chickens, Like Turkeys, Like Deer, Like Canadian Geese.

You Can Tell You Ate Too Much For Thanksgiving When You Have To Let Your Bathrobe Out.

You Can Only Govern Men By Serving Them. The Rule Is Without Exception.

On Thanksgiving Day We Acknowledge Our Dependence.

No One Diets On Thanksgiving.

Proper Turkey Preparation Is Critical. According To The U.s. Department Of Agriculture, More Americans Die Every Year From Eating Improperly Cooked Turkey Than Were Killed In The Entire Peloponnesian War. This Is Because Turkey Can Contain Salmonella, Which Are Tiny Bacteria That, If They Get In Your Bloodstream, Develop Into Full-grown Salmon, Which Could Come Leaping Out Of Your Mouth During An Important Business Presentation.

It Was Dramatic To Watch My Grandmother Decapitate A Turkey With An Ax The Day Before Thanksgiving. Nowadays The Expense Of Hiring Grandmothers For The Ax Work Would Probably Qualify All Turkeys So Honored With Gourmet Status.