When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Whisky

I Have Spent A Lot Of Time Searching Through The Bible For Loopholes.

I Was In Love With A Beautiful Blonde Once. She Drove Me To Drink. That's The One Thing I'm Indebted To Her For.

I Never Voted For Anybody. I Always Voted Against.

Now Don't Say You Can't Swear Off Drinking; It's Easy. I've Done It A Thousand Times.

In The Ten Years Since I Had Run Away From Home...i Had Gone Through More Strange Experiences Than The Average Person Crowds Into A Whole Lifetime.