This Morning When I Put On My

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. I've Got The Only Dog Who Begs For Alka-seltzer.

I Recently Had Double-bypass Surgery. As They Wheel You In, The Doctor Always Gives You A Last Look. You Know That Look. That Look Of Confidence To Make You Feel Good. I Always Say To Every Doctor, If I Don't Make It, I'll Never Know It.

The Other Night A Mugger Took Off His Mask And Made Me Wear It.

What A Dog I Got. Last Night He Went On The Paper Four Times - Three While I Was Reading It.

At Christmas Time I Sat On Santa's Lap. His Fly Was Open ! Boy What A Present He Gave Me !