There's So Much Botox Around Now That

If You Can't Join Them, Beat Them.

In The Forties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be A Gi Or A Jock. In The Fifties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Jewish. In The Sixties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Black. In The Seventies, To Get A Girl You've Got To Be A Girl.

I Used To Go Out With Actresses And Other Female Impersonators.

What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas - Except The Drone.

Television Is Never More False Than When It's Openly Sincere.