The Secret Of Writing Comedy Is To

Do Your Kids A Favor - Don't Have Any.

It's An Awful Thing To Grow Old By Yourself. My Wife Hasn't Had A Birthday In Seven Years.

What If The Meek Inherited The Earth And We Had To Defend Ourselves From Martians?

I Had A Terrible Fight With My Wife On New Year's Eve. She Called Me A Procrastinator. So I Finished Addressing The Christmas Cards And Left.

Most People Would Like To Be Delivered From Temptation But Would Like It To Keep In Touch.