It's An Awful Thing To Grow Old

If Somebody Accuses You In A Story Of Being A Crook, You Can Demand That They Prove It. But If A Comic Says It And You Protest, People Say, 'what's The Matter, You Can't Take A Joke?

The Best Birthdays Of All Are Those That Haven't Arrived Yet.

It's An Awful Thing To Grow Old By Yourself. My Wife Hasn't Had A Birthday In Seven Years.

I Don't Want To Say Anything About My Kids...but I Go To Pta Meetings Under An Assumed Name!

Summit Meetings Tend To Be Like Panda Matings. The Expectations Are Always High, And The Results Usually Disappointing.