The More Excited The Rooster Gets, The

You Know, I Remember Career Day In High School. I Remember Plumbers And Lawyers... I Don't Remember A Booth Where You Could Sign Up To Learn How To Shoot Chickens Out Of A Cannon At The Windshield Of An Airplane, 'cause There Would Have Been A Line At My School To Do That!

Ladies Have Come Up With All These Expressions To Reassure Men. "oh, Honey, It's Not The Size Of The Ship, It's The Motion Of The Ocean." That May Be True, But It Takes A Long Time To Get To England In A Rowboat.

I Love Comedy. God Has Given Me This Platform.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Been Fired From A Construction Job Because Of Your Appearance.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Celebrate Groundhog Day Because You Believe In It.