Say Goodnight Gracie.

Be Sure To Wear A Good Cologne, A Nice Aftershave Lotion, And A Strong Underarm Deodorant. And It Might Be A Good Idea To Wear Some Clothes, Too.

When I'm In Front Of An Audience, All That Love And Vitality Sweeps Over Me And I Forget My Age.

I Don't Worry About Getting Old. I'm Old Already. Only Young People Worry About Getting Old. When I Was 65, I Had Cupid's Eczema. I Don't Believe In Dying. It's Been Done. I'm Working On A New Exit. Besides, I Can't Die Now - I'm Booked.

Sex After 90 Is Like Trying To Shoot Pool With A Rope. Even Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.

If I Get Big Laughs, I'm A Comedian. If I Get Little Laughs, I'm A Humorist. If I Get No Laughs, I'm A Singer.