Be Sure To Wear A Good Cologne,

There Are Two Kinds Of Cruises - Pleasure And With Children.

People Ask Me What I'd Most Appreciate Getting For My Eighty-seventh Birthday. I Tell Them, A Paternity Suit.

Age To Me Means Nothing. I Can't Get Old; I'm Working. I Was Old When I Was Twenty-one And Out Of Work. As Long As You're Working, You Stay Young. When I'm In Front Of An Audience, All That Love And Vitality Sweeps Over Me And I Forget My Age.

I Would Read Playboy More Often, But My Glasses Keep Steaming Up.

Sex After 90 Is Like Trying To Shoot Pool With A Rope. Even Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.