Ronald Reagan Just Signed The New Tax

The Only Issue Cash Presents You Is The Independence Of Not Stressing About Funds.

When A Comic Becomes Enamored With His Own Views And Foists Them Off On The Public In A Polemic Way, He Loses Not Only His Sense Of Humor But His Value As A Humorist.

If Life Was Fair, Elvis Would Be Alive And All The Impersonators Would Be Dead.

I Get Sick Of That Old Rationalization, "we're Staying Together Because Of The Children." Kids Couldn't Be More Miserable Living With Parents Who Can't Stand Each Other. They're Far Better Off If There's An Honest, Clean Divorce.

For Days After Death Hair And Fingernails Continue To Grow, But Phone Calls Taper Off.