Old Age Is When You Resent The

I've Been A Straight Man For So Many Years That From Force Of Habit I Repeat Everything. I Went Out Fishing With A Fellow The Other Day And He Fell Overboard. He Yelled, Help! Help! Help! So I Said, Help? Help? Help? And While I Was Waiting For Him To Get His Laugh, He Drowned.

Everyday Happiness Means You Can't Wait To Come Home, Because The Soup Is Hot.

I Like Women To Be Attracted To Me. See, When You Get 60 Years Old, And They Know You're 60, The Only Women You Can Get Are 55-year-old Women, And I Like Younger Women.

You Can't Help Getting Older, But You Don't Have To Get Old.

I'd Rather Be A Flop At Show Business Than To Be A Success At Something I Didn't Like.