My Wife Has To Be The Worst

My Wife Is So Fat That The Last Time I Saw Something That Big It Was Grazing.

On Halloween, The Parents Sent Their Kids Out Looking Like Me.

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. I Don't Believe Meatloaf Should Glow In The Dark

I Said To A Girl I'd Been Seeing, Come Home With Me, Honey, And I'll Show You Where It's At. She Said, You'd Better, Because The Last Time I Could'nt Find It.

Yeah, I Know I'm Ugly... I Said To A Bartender, 'make Me A Zombie.' He Said 'god Beat Me To It.'