My Success Just Evolved From Working Hard

The Best Way To Thaw A Frozen Turkey? Blow In It's Ear.

Ronald Reagan Just Signed The New Tax Law. But I Think He Was In Hollywood Too Long. He Signed It, 'best Wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

Democracy Means Free Television, Not Good Television, But Free.

I Would Like To Say, For The Record, That I Am In Favor Of Using More American Indians And Other Minorities In Motion Pictures, I Am Against Polluting The Oceans Of The World, I Am For Every Nationality Having Its Own Homeland, I Am Against Whacking Baby Seals On The Head, And I Am For Saving The Whales.

When A Comic Becomes Enamored With His Own Views And Foists Them Off On The Public In A Polemic Way, He Loses Not Only His Sense Of Humor But His Value As A Humorist.