Just When You Think There's Nothing To

The Reason I Don't Play Golf Is Because I Was A Caddie When I Was 13. Women Never Gave Up A Golf Ball That Was Lost Somewhere In The Trees And Thicket And Down Through The Poison Ivy. It Was During One Of These Searches That I Vowed To The Lord Above That If I Ever Earned Enough Money I Would Never Set Foot On A Course Again.

Americans Are Just Beginning To Regard Food The Way The French Always Have. Dinner Is Not What You Do In The Evening Before Something Else. Dinner Is The Evening.

I Contemplated Suicide. My Main Concern Was That I Would Not Make The New York Times Obituary Page.

The Best Way To Clean Up A Son's Room Is To Close The Door And Pretend It's Not Part Of The House.

I Earned My Stripes As A Marine, And The Corps Gets Full Credit For Straightening Me Out. At 17, I Was Young, I Was Unhappy And Most Of All, I Was Undisciplined. The Marine Corps Was The Right Service In The Right Place At The Right Time.