It's Not A Drug Problem, Until You

The Regular Guy Still Relates To Him And Howard Is A $500 Million Guy Now Who Dates A Model And Drives About In A Limo All Day. But Howard Still Knows How To Make A Plumber Laugh And Those Guys Still Have Him On In The Morning, Because He Is A Real Talent.

Comedians, We're Just People Who Whine. But We Happen To Be Funny When We Whine.

The Only Reason I Can't Recommend Heroin To Kids Is Because The Effects Wear Off.

Vegas Means Comedy, Tragedy, Happiness And Sadness All At The Same Time.

In Hollywood, There Is Another Name For A Woman's 40th Birthday Party, It's A Retirement Party.