The Only Reason I Can't Recommend Heroin

A-rod Wants To Be Like Babe Ruth. And People Don't Realize This, He's A Lot Like Babe Ruth. Before The Playoffs A Couple Of Years Ago, A-rod Went To The Hospital And Promised A Dying Kid He'd Ground Out To Second For Him.

You Know How Screwed Up Censorship Is, Two Girls Just Agreed To Make Out Naked In Front Of Their Fathers, And We Went Wait, Don't Curse.

'course The World Of Sports Takes Itself Way Too Serious. Sports Writers Are All High And Mighty.

I Had A Career Before The Stern Show, On Mad Tv. I Was On The First Two Seasons Of That And I Got Kicked Off It Because Of Possession Of Cocaine.

When You're On The Road A Lot, You're In Perpetual Search Of A Good Night's Sleep.