It's Funny When You're A Kid How

This Is Why The Terrorists Hate Us. And It's Not The Glitter And It's Not The Pomp And Circumstance. We've Got Black And White, We've Got Hispanic And Asian, We Got Gay, Straight, And Guttenberg, All Working Together For One Common Goal: To Get The Mirror Ball. And The Mirror Ball Doesn't Care What Color You Are, And It Doesn't Care How Rich Your Parents Are, And It Doesn't Care What God You Pray To. It's An Even Wooden Floor, And May The Best Man Or Woman Win. And I Say God Bless Dancing With The Stars, And God Bless The Usa.

Figure Out What To Do, Then Take A Nap.

You Should Feel Good About Yourself Because Of Your Accomplishments. Not Because Somebody Yelled At You To Feel Good About Yourself.

I Get Depressed At Airports.

I Used To Be A Democrat, Now I'm Basically A Republican.