It Was Announced Today That Iran Has

During A Charity Boxing Match On Friday, Mitt Romney Lasted Two Rounds Against Evander Holyfield And Raised A Million Dollars. It Was Just Like Holyfield's Fight With Mike Tyson, Except Romney Chewed Off His Other Ear Talking About His 18 Grandchildren.

Thank You... Fantasy Football Draft, For Letting Me Know That Even In My Fantasies, I Am Bad At Sports.

Steven Spielberg Is Going To Release A Biopic About Abraham Lincoln Next Year. Right, That's A Good Way To Honor Lincoln – By Sending People To The Theater.

President Obama And Mitt Romney Both Gave Commencement Speeches Over The Last Few Days. Obama Was Like, 'you Can Be Whatever You Want To Be,' While Romney Was Like, 'i Can Be Whatever You Want Me To Be.'

My Dream Was To Grow Up And Get A Job At Ibm, Like My Dad. That Seemed Like A Logical Dream.