I'm More American Than Apple Pie. I'm

I'm Impervious To Logic.

I Love The Truth. It's The Facts I'm Not A Fan Of.

Contrary To What People May Say, There's No Upper Limit To Stupidity.

If I Had One Wish, It Would Be For Self-drying Pants. Wait -- No! Unlimited Wishes! How Do I Return These Stupid Pants?!

New Study Reveals Men Like To Cuddle. Another Study Reveals Men Will Say Anything To Get Into Bed With A Woman.