I'm An Entertainer, Not A Commentator. If

He's So Fat, He Can Be His Own Running Mate.

I Hear That Whenever Someone In The White House Tells A Lie, Nixon Gets A Royalty.

I Can't Go Anywhere Without Being Bugged By Somebody. I'd Love To Just Hike Out Down The Street, Or Drop In A Restaurant, Or Wander In The Park, Or Take My Kids Somewhere Without Collecting A Trail Of People. But I Can't.

Happiness Is.....finding Two Olives In Your Martini When Youre Hungry.

The Only Thing Money Gives You Is The Freedom Of Not Worrying About Money.