I'll Tell Ya, My Wife And I,

Once I Pulled A Job, I Was So Stupid. I Picked A Guy's Pocket On An Airplane And Made A Run For It.

With Girls, I Don't Think Right. I Had A Date With One Girl, She Had Mirrors All Over Her Bedroom. She Told Me To Come Over And Bring A Bottle. I Got Windex.

I Have Nothing But Troubles With My Car. Every Sunday I Take My Family Out For A Push.

You Know You're Ugly When You Go To The Proctologist And He Sticks His Finger In Your Mouth.

It's Lonely On The Top When There's No One On The Bottom.