Once I Pulled A Job, I Was

I Can't Figure Women Out. They Put On Makeup For Three Hours. They Wear Things That Make Them Smaller. Things That Make Them Bigger. Then They Meet A Man And They Want Truth.

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. He Told Me Never Take Candy From A Stranger Unless He Offered Me A Ride.

One Time My Whole Family Played Hide And Seek. They Found My Mother In Pittsburgh!

She Was Old Too, When She Went To School They Didn't Have History.

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'