If Tyson Griffin Was A Girl, I'd

I Really Feel Like It's A Travesty To Make A Child Famous. I Really Do.

No Girl Wants A Secretly Gay Boyfriend, Every Dude Wants A Secretly Gay Girlfriend.

I Don`t Like People That Make Their Living Talking About Bullshit, And You See Them In Many Shows That Are Made On The Same Subject. When You Go Looking At Ufos Or Bigfoot Or What-have-you, There's Just Nothing There.

I Thought Eventually I'd Have A Family And I Really Didn't Want To Be A Loser Like That Guy In His 40s Still Shopping His Band's Shitty Demo Tapes Around.

My Act Is So Completely And Totally Uncensored That The Only Way I Could Really Pull It Off Is If I Treat The Audience Like They're My Best Friends.