If Someone Else Is Paying For It,

I Just Split Up With My Girlfriend, But Like The Japanese Say, “they’ll Be Another One Floating By Any Minute Now.”

I Personally Think Miles Davis Is A Lot Funnier Than Me. And He's Working More.

I Would Show Up At A Party For Al Qaeda If You Said There's Going To Be A Dinner.

I Predict One Of These Two Teams Will Win The Super Bowl.

A Lot Of People Who Claim They're Political Comedians Are Just Comedians Who Have Opinions. But They Stop Being Funny The Minute They Give Their Opinions.