A Lot Of People Who Claim They're

With Me, Traveling For Work Is Arriving At The Airport, Checking Into The Hotel, Leaving The Hotel The Next Morning At 4 Or 5 To Do Something Like 'the Jimmy And Jackie Captain Crazy Morning Zoo,' Doing A Bunch Of Those In A Row, Then Going Back To The Hotel, And Then Finally Going To The Club.

One Thing I Can Take Credit For, Along With The Rest Of Show Business, Is When The Red Ribbons Were Out, We Cured Aids. Any Advancements That Came Towards Fighting Aids Were Not Done By Scientists Or Doctors - It Was People With Little Ribbons On Their Lapels.

I Don't Know If I Change My Act From Century To Century. Sometimes I'm Onstage Doing Imitations And References To People Who Have Been Dead For 50 Years.

You Never Know What People Will Choose To Be Offended By.

If A Comedian Tells A Joke That You Find Funny, You Laugh. If He Tells A Joke You Do Not Find Funny, Dont Laugh. Or You Could Possibly Go As Far As Groaning Or Rolling Your Eyes. Then You Wait For His Next Joke; If Thats Funny, Then You Laugh. If Its Not, You Dont Laugh - Or At Very Worst, You Can Leave Quietly.