I Was Raised By Just My Mom.

The Marines Was A Fresh Start - That Is Why They Shave Your Head. I Wish They Would Let You Change Your Name.

I Don't Do One Show And Wish I Was Doing Something Else.

People Laugh To Forget Their Troubles, And To Forget Their Troubles They Like To Look At People Who Aren't Doing Better Than They Are.

I Used To Go To The Library All The Time When I Was Kid. As A Teenager, I Got A Book On How To Write Jokes At The Library, And That, In Turn, Launched My Comedy Career.

I Moved From Cleveland To L.a. With A Girlfriend, We Broke Up, And I Lived Out Of My Car For A Year And A Half, On The Road With Nothing On My Mind But Getting My Act Good Enough To Be On 'the Tonight Show.'