I Wanna Put Stickers On Turtles... I

If You Want To Feel Less Sexy Put Scotch Tape On Your Nipples.

When I Stub My Toe It's Like I Pressed A Button That Plays All The Curse Words I Know.

I Think It's Interesting That Cologne Rhymes With Alone.

I Think It Would Be Cool If You Were Writing A Ransom Note On Your Computer, If The Paper Clip Popped Up And Said, 'looks Like You're Writing A Ransom Note. Need Help? You Should Use More Forceful Language, You'll Get More Money.'

When Someone Describes Themself As A Taxpayer, They're About To Be An Asshole.