I Have Never Understood, For Example, How

Grandma Told Me Mama Was Once Caught By The Principal For Writing In The Front Of Her Book, "in Case Of Fire, Throw This In First." I Have Never Had So Much Respect For Mama As The Day I Heard This.

I Have Never Understood, For Example, How Come A Child Can Climb Up On The Roof, Scale The Tv Antenna, And Rescue The Cat ... Yet Cannot Walk Down The Hallway Without Grabbing Both Walls With His Grubby Hands For Balance.

I Learned The Importance Of A Man's Chair Early In Life. I Learned That He May Love Several Wives, Embrace Several Cars, Be True To More Than One Political Philosophy, And Be Equally Committed To Several Careers, But He Will Have Only One Comfortable Chair In His Life. I Learned It Will Be An Ugly Chair. It Will Match Nothing In The Entire House. It Will Never Wear Out.

Never Order Food In Excess Of Your Body Weight.

My Kids Always Perceived The Bathroom As A Place Where You Wait It Out Until All The Groceries Are Unloaded From The Car.