Never Order Food In Excess Of Your

There's Nothing Sadder In This World Than To Awake Christmas Morning And Not Be A Child.

When Children Reach The Age Of Sixteen, They Discover The Meaning Of Life: Car Keys.

I Read One Psychologist's Theory That Said, "never Strike A Child In Your Anger." When Could I Strike Him? When He Is Kissing Me On My Birthday? When He's Recuperating From Measles? Do I Slap The Bible Out Of His Hand On Sunday?

Car Designers Are Just Going To Have To Come Up With An Automobile That Outlasts The Payments.

My Mind Works . . . Two Boobs Never Get Me A Job.