I Can't Give Up Golf, I've Got

In His Prime, The Young Comic Walked Onto A Stage With The Confidence Of A Man Who Owned It, And By The Time He Walked Off, He Did.

Personally, I Never Drink On Oscar Nights, As It Interferes With My Suffering.

I Never Kick My Ball In The Rough Or Improve My Lie In A Sand Trap. For That I Have A Caddie.

The Old Water Heater In My Dressing Room Was Working, But It Was Kind Of Tired. It Gave Off About As Much Warmth As An Agent's Handshake.

Bing Crosby And I Weren't The Types To Go Around Kissing Each Other. We Always Had A Light Jab For Each Other. One Of Our Stock Lines Used To Be "there's Nothing I Wouldn't Do For Bing, And There's Nothing He Wouldn't Do For Me." And That's The Way We Go Through Life - Doing Nothing For Each Other!