Great Teachers Are Usually A Little Crazy.

Not Many People In This World Are As Lucky As I've Been. ... All This Time I've Been Paid To Say What Is On My Mind On Television. You Don't Get Any Luckier In Life Than That.

Bacon Is Clearly A Food Made By The Nazis To Fatten Up Americans. It Has No Nutritional Value, Is Full Of Fat, Sodium, And Nitrates, And Is A Pathetic Type Of Consumable Made From The Noblest Of Creatures.

When Those Waiters Ask Me If I Want Some Fresh Ground Pepper, I Ask If They Have Any Aged Pepper.

I've Learned... That I Wish I Could Have Told My Mom That I Love Her One More Time Before She Passed Away.

There Are Sixteen Cans Of Coffee Here; Together They Hold A Total Of Thirteen And A Half Pounds Of Coffee. Doesn't That Seem Like Cheating?