Comedy = Tragedy + Time.

Have You Noticed That All You Need To Grow Healthy, Vigorous Grass Is A Crack In Your Sidewalk? Having A Baby Is Like Taking Your Lower Lip And Forcing It Over Your Head.

But I Didn't Ask To Have Somebody Nose Around In My Private Life. I Didn't Even Ask To Be Famous. All I Asked Was To Be Able To Earn A Living Making People Laugh.

I Can't Tell A Joke To Save My Soul. It's Just Not My Thing, Though I Love To Listen To Jokes.

As Far As Sitcoms Go, I Thought Jenna Elfman In 'dharma And Greg' Was A Wonderful Physical Comedienne Who Had Great Timing.

I Always Had A Weak Chin Because We Couldn't Afford To Correct My Bite, Which Could Have Been Corrected With Braces. So The Chin Was Always Weak. And I Always Was - Kind Of Hated My Profile. And I Thought Wouldn't It Be Nice Someday To Feel The Rain On Your Chin Without Having To Look Up.