List of Andy Rooney Quotes

The Only Thing That Really Bugs Me About Television's Coverage Is Those Damn Women They Have Down On The Sidelines Who Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About. I Mean, I'm Not A Sexist Person, But A Woman Has No Business Being Down There Trying To Make Some Comment About A Football Game.

No One Likes The House Next Door To Look Worse Or A Lot Better Than His Own.

Numbers Are The Most Certain Things We Have.

I'd Like To Take Some Calculus, Too. I Have Absolutely No Ability In That Direction And Not Much Interest, Either, But There's Something Going On In Mathematics That I Don't Understand, And I'd Like To Find Out What It Is.

My Own Time Is Passing Fast Enough Without Some National Game To Help It Along.

I Just Sat There Looking At Television, Sort Of Dumb And Thought How Horrible It Was. I Had -- The Grand Aspects Of It Did Not Occur To Me -- I Had No Notion Of This Terrorist Network That Existed. I Knew The Were A Lot Of People In The World Who Didn't Like Us, But I Had No Idea That It Was As Well Organized As It Apparently Is. That's One Of The Amazing Facets Of This Terrible Event: How Well They Did It. Incredible. The Competence Of These Evil People.

Most College Students Are Not As Smart As Most College Presidents.

The Last Birthday That's Any Good Is 23.

We Aren't Consistent In Our Treatment Of Animals.

All Men Are Not Created Equal But Should Be Treated As Though They Were Under The Law.

The Dullest Olympic Sport Is Curling, Whatever 'curling' Means.

I'm Already Suspicious Of Anyone Who Thinks He Or She Is Smart Enough To Be President. You'd Have To Have Some Ego To Believe That About Yourself.