The Dullest Olympic Sport Is Curling, Whatever

We're All Proud Of Making Little Mistakes. It Gives Us The Feeling We Don't Make Any Big Ones.

There Are Sixteen Cans Of Coffee Here; Together They Hold A Total Of Thirteen And A Half Pounds Of Coffee. Doesn't That Seem Like Cheating?

The One Affectation I Have Forced On The Publisher... Are My Apostrophe-free Ellisions. Because I Write My Scripts To Read Myself, I Dont Spell 'don't' With An Apostrophe. I Spell It 'dont'. We All Know The Word And It Seems Foolish To Put In An Extraneous Apostrophe. Punctuation Marks Are Devices We Use To Make The Meaning Of Sentences Clear. There Is Nothing Confusing About A Word Like 'dont' Printed Without An Apostrophe To Indicate An Omitted Letter.

I've Done A Lot Of Complaining Here, But Of All The Things I've Complained About, I Can't Complain About My Life.

Nothing In Fine Print Is Ever Good News.