The Only Thing That Really Bugs Me

I Am An Atheist... I Don't Understand Religion At All. I'm Sure I'll Offend A Lot Of People By Saying This, But I Think It's All Nonsense.

Yes, We Praise Women Over 40 For A Multitude Of Reasons. Unfortunately, It's Not Reciprocal. For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed, Hot Woman Over 40, There Is A Bald, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year Old Waitress. Ladies, I Apologize. For All Those Men Who Say, "why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?", Here's An Update For You. Nowadays 80% Of Women Are Against Marriage. Why? Because Women Realize It's Not Worth Buying An Entire Pig Just To Get A Little Sausage!

Soap, Like People, Shouldn't Smell Like Anything.

If, On The Other Hand, Happiness Depends On A Good Breakfast, Flowers In The Yard, A Drink Or A Nap, Then We Are More Likely To Live With Quite A Bit Of Happiness.

We All Ought To Understand We're On Our Own. Believing In Santa Claus Doesn't Do Kids Any Harm For A Few Years But It Isn't Smart For Them To Continue Waiting All Their Lives For Him To Come Down The Chimney With Something Wonderful. Santa Claus And God Are Cousins.